I just got this in my email. I'm so excited, I'm going to be a millionaire!!
FROM:MR.AHMED HAROUNA.
AFRICAN DEVELOPEMENT BANK
BURKINA FASO (ADB)
OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO.
DEAR FRIEND,
IT WILL BE A SURPRISE FOR YOU TO RECEIVE THIS MAIL. WELCOME THIS LETTER IN THE NAME OF ALLAH.
I AM MR MR.AHMED HAROUNA, THE DIRECTOR OF THE ACCOUNTS & AUDITING DEPT. AT THE AFRICAN DEVLOPEMENT BANK OUAGADOUGOU-WEST AFRICA. WITH DUE RESPECT I HAVE DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU ON A BUSINESS TRANSACTION THAT WILL BE BENEFICIAL TO BOTH OF US. AT THE BANK'S LAST ACCOUNTS/AUDITING EVALUATIONS, MY STAFFS CAME ACROSS AN OLD ACCOUNT WHICH WAS BEING MAINTAINED BY A FOREIGN CLIENT WHO WE LEARNT WAS AMONG THE DECEASED PASSENGERS OF AN AIRLINE CRASH ON 6TH NOV. 2003. SINCE THE DECEASED WAS UNABLE TO RUN THIS ACCOUNT SINCE HIS DEATH. THE ACCOUNT HAS REMAINED DORMANT WITHOUT THE KNOWLEDGE OF HIS FAMILY SINCE IT WAS PUT IN A SAFE DEPOSIT ACCOUNT IN THE BANK FOR FUTURE INVESTMENT BY THE CLIENT. SINCE HIS DEMISE, NOBODY, NOT EVEN THE MEMBERS OF HIS FAMILY HAVE APPLIED FOR CLAIMS OVER THIS FUND AND IT HAS BEEN IN THE SAFE DEPOSIT ACCOUNT UNTIL WE DISCOVERED THAT IT CANNOT BE CLAIMED SINCE OUR CLIENT IS A FOREIGN NATIONAL AND WE ARE SURE THAT HE HAS NO NEXT OF KIN HERE TO FILE CLAIMS OVER THE MONEY. AS THE DIRECTOR OF THE DEPT, THIS DISCOVERY WAS BROUGHT TO MY OFFICE SO AS TO DECIDE WHAT IS TO BE DONE. WITH THE FEW PERSONEL IN MY DEPT, WE DECIDED TO SEEK WAYS THROUGH WHICH TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY OUT OF THE BANK AND OUT OF THE COUNTRY TOO.
THE TOTAL AMOUNT IN THE ACCOUNTS IS TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND
DOLLARS(USD 10,500,000.00). WITH OUR POSITIONS AS STAFFS OF THE BANK, WE ARE HANDICAPPED BECAUSE WE CANNOT OPERATE FOREIGN ACCOUNTS AND CANNOT LAY BONAFIDE CLAIM OVER THIS MONEY.WHILE WE WERE CONTEMPLATING ON WHAT TO DO, A FRIEND OF MINE WHO WORKS WITH THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY RECOMMENDED YOUR PERSONALITY TO ME AND ADVISED I SHOULD ASK YOU FOR HELP TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY OUT OF THE COUNTRY. THE CLIENT IS A FOREIGN NATIONAL AND YOU WILL ONLY BE ASKED TO ACT AS HIS NEXT OF KIN AND I WILL SUPPLY YOU WITH ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATIONS AND BANK DATA TO ASSIST YOU IN BEING ABLE TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY TO ANY BANK OF YOUR CHOICE WHERE THIS MONEY COULD BE TRANSFERED INTO.
I AND MY PARTNERS HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE AWAY FOURTY % (40%)TO YOU FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AND TEN (10%) FOR ANY EXPENSES THAT MIGHT ARISE DURING THE TRANSACTION OF THIS TRANSFER.WE WANT TO ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS ABSOLUTELY RISK FREE SINCE WE WORK IN THIS BANK WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD BE CONFIDENT IN THE SUCCESS OF THIS TRANSACTION BECAUSE YOU WILL BE UPDATED WITH INFORMATION AS AT WHEN DESIRED.
WE WILL PLEASE WISH YOU KEEP THIS TRANSACTION SECRET AS WE ARE HOPING TO RETIRE WITH OUR SHARE OF THIS MONEY AT THE END OF TRANSACTION WHICH WILL BE WHEN THIS MONEY IS SAFELY IN YOUR ACCOUNT. WE WILL THEN COME OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR SHARING ACCORDING TO THE PREVIOUSLY AGREED PERCENTAGES.YOU MIGHT EVEN HAVE TO ADVISE US ON POSSIBILITIES OF INVESTMENT IN YOUR COUNTRY OR ELSEWHERE OF OUR CHOICE. MAY ALLAH HELP YOU TO HELP US TO A RESTIVE RETIREMENT. AMEN.
PLEASE FOR FURTHER INFORMATIONS AND ENQUIRIES FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME
THROUGH MY NUMBER 00 226 78 84 92 06 FOR ORAL DISCUSSION.
AM AWAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE!!!
THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSED.
MR.AHMED HAROUNA
Friday, March 16, 2007
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Voodoo PC
You’re possibly familiar with Alienware’s high-performance systems, but there’s a chance you’ve never heard of Voodoo PC.
You’ve heard of Dell, right? Well, of course you have—and you’ve heard of HP (Hewlett-Packard). So what’s the deal with Alienware and Voodoo PC?
Believe it or not Alienware is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Dell. As for Voodoo PC, well it was acquired by HP in September of 2006. Oh, and while I’m at it, Lexus, you know, the luxury car manufacturer, is the exact same company as Toyota, but that’s beside the point. So maybe you knew this, but it’s news to me.
Hohkay, Voodoo PC would be far more popular, and put Alienware out of business, if the prices weren’t outrageous… that’s really the bottom line, and maybe why you haven’t (if you haven’t) heard of them.
If you’re familiar with Alienware and you’ve been to the website, then you’ve also probably attempted to assemble the most expensive “uberly 1337” computer you could ever imagine—with absolutely no intention of purchasing, I might add.
Dell computer’s are generally considered disposable pieces of junk, am I right? If you have a Dell and it ever breaks or needs a new part you’ll be at an advantage if you know Chinese, you know what I mean… In the end Dell is to Ford as HP is to Toyota, a sad yet true analogy.
I’m getting a bit off topic. If you seriously want the most extreme, top-of-the-line, advanced computer you buy a Voodoo PC. Now I’ll tell you a bit about Voodoo PCs and later I’ll have fun attempting to configure the most expensive one possible.
There are three types of desktops, the Omen, Aria, and Hexx. Hexx computers are for extreme gaming and Aria computers are designed to be a Media Center. The Omen brand is divided into Extreme Gaming Air Cooled, Extreme Gaming Water Cooled, and Professional Workstation. Air cooled computers consist of: Omen AMD Athlon with Crossfire, Omen AMD Athlon with SLI, Omen Intel Core 2 with Crossfire, and Omen Core 2 with SLI. Water cooled computers consist of: Omen AMD Quad FX SLI, Omen AMD Athlon with Crossfire, Omen AMD Athlon with SLI, Omen Intel Core 2 with Crossfire, Omen AMD Intel Core 2 with SLI, and Omen Elemental Intel Core 2 with Crossfire. The Professional Workstation consists of the Omen Dual AMD Opertron with SLI. The Extreme Gaming Water Cooled systems have starting prices around $4,000 to $5,000.
The Omen Elemental Intel Core 2 Water Cooled with Crossfire has a reasonable starting price of only $13,600. After “customizing” my own computer I came out with an estimated price of $18,164.73 as low as $544.94/mo. After reviewing the specifics (you can view below) I checked the circle next to “Discard I’ve had my fun.” and clicked continue. This isn't the only good computer they sell or necessarily the best, theres lots of other great gaming computers and styles, feel free to check them out for yourself. Visit http://www.voodoopc.com.
Features :
Radically Different Design
Features best of ATX and BTX form factor!
Performance Tuned Intel Dual Core Extreme
Performance Tuned SLi Video
Brushed Anodized & Machined Chassis
Voodoo f:5 Supercharged Intercooling
Worlds Fastest & Quietest Production PC
Built to ISO9000:2001 Standards
10"(W) X 23"(D) X 18"(H)
talladega BLACK
Tattoo - No Thanks!
Allure Finish
Allure match my optional Keyboard and/or Mouse
Allure match my optional Monitor(s)
Allure match my optional Speakers
Components :
Voodoo OMEN Intel Core 2
Voodoo Performance and Stability Re-Engineering
Voodoo Renowned Cabling System
Voodoo Disaster Recovery System II
Voodoo EDGE Mousing Surface
Voodoo Koeskin System Binder
VoodooPC T-Shirt
Voodoo MAGA Aluminium Chassis
Voodoo Illuminated Mask & Airbox
Eye of the Storm and Electric Veins
Voodoo Core 2 Duo Crossfire Motherboard
Voodoo Stealth 1000 Watt Modular Silent Power Supply
Intel® Core™2 Extreme Quad-Core QX6700
Voodoo OMEN Supercharged Intercooler
Blue Voodoo super coolant
4GB PC6400C4 DDR2
Configure & Enable Onboard RAID(s)
750 GiG Seagate 7200 RPM
750 GiG Seagate 7200 RPM
750 GiG Seagate 7200 RPM
750 GiG Seagate 7200 RPM
Molded Digital Card Reader
Plextor DVD+-RW PX-760A
Plextor DVD+-RW PX-760A
Radeon X1950 XTX 512MB DDR
ATi Radeon X1950 Crossfire SS
Logitech Harmony Remote 680
46" Samsung Syncmaster 8ms Gaming LCD
Creative Labs X-Fi Fatal1ty FPS with Breakout box
Ageia PhysX Card
Creative Gigaworks THX 7.1
Voodoo OMEN Metal Travel Box with wheels
Worldwide Shipping
Windows Vista Ultimate
Windows Vista Ultimate
Microsoft Office Pro 2007
FUEL Software Essentials v2.0
Tom Clancy Splinter Cell 4 Double Agent
Battlefield 2: Deluxe Edition w/Special Forces Expansion
F.E.A.R (First Encounter Assault Recon)
Half Life 2 : Episode 1
Logitech® G15 Gaming Keyboard
Logitech DiNovo Media Desktop Bluetooth
Logitech® MX™ Revolution
Logitech G25 Racing Wheel - Wheel pedals and gear shift
3 Year Voodoo Desktop Warranty Policy
Desktop Platinum Upgrade Policy
3 Year DESKTOP World-Wide Aircare Service
Monday, January 22, 2007
Russian News
Woman Gets 11 Years for Cooking Boyfriend and Feeding Him to Guests
A court in the Russian internal republic of Bashkortostan has passed an 11-year sentence to a woman who killed her boyfriend with an axe and then cooked him in a variety of dishes which she fed to her guests at a New Year party.
The Komsomolskaya Pravda daily reports that the incident took place in the small town of Sterlitamak. The 44-year old woman suspected her boyfriend, who was younger than her, of unfaithfulness and in a heated row grabbed an axe and hacked him to death.
Then, the woman flayed and dismembered the body. She threw away the head and used the rest to cook a New Year dinner. She minced some meat and used in meatballs and dumplings and also made jellied meat with hands and feet — she later bartered that dish for liquor with neighbors.
When the guests arrived, the woman treated them to everything she cooked — meatballs, dumplings, soup and liver sausage. The people did not know they were eating human flesh, only one guest noticed that the meat was unusually sweet, but he was told that this was because it was very fresh.
When the party was coming to an end, one of the guests looked into the fridge and found a severed human hand there. He called the police and the murderer confessed during the first questioning.
Word of the Day
Urban Dictionary Word of the Day:
e-penis
A term used to describe the technological prowess of an individual, usually in an internet community. Factors that engorge the e-penis include bandwidth, computer speed, hard drive size, size of DVD collection, and an impressive frag count in any number of popular first person shooters."I have a +5 e-penis of down smacking, bitch!"
"my e-penis > your e-penis"
Cyber6
sweet17: Hi
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don't f**king laugh at me!
bloodninja: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A fucking COP YOU DICKSHIT!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go fuck yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: fuck YOU!!!
bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a fucking idiot!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth watch it !.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I fuck harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: ...still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your your getting a warning !.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A fucking PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: fuck YOU DICKHEAD!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: ...going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don't f**king laugh at me!
bloodninja: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A fucking COP YOU DICKSHIT!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go fuck yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: fuck YOU!!!
bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a fucking idiot!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth watch it !.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I fuck harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: ...still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your your getting a warning !.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A fucking PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: fuck YOU DICKHEAD!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: ...going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
Cyber5
bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
bloodninja: How did you know?
bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit
DirtyKate: fuck
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
bloodninja: How did you know?
bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit
DirtyKate: fuck
Cyber4
bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?
bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.
bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:
bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
**pause**
Katie_007: is that it?
bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
**pause**
bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.
bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.
Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT.
Katie_007: ...
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katie_007: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Katie_007: whatever.
Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?
bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.
bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:
bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
**pause**
Katie_007: is that it?
bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
**pause**
bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.
bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.
Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT.
Katie_007: ...
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katie_007: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Katie_007: whatever.
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